Week 2 in my 6 week series of tools and techniques to help Children and Young People through transitions
The days before a new school year can bring a mix of excitement and nerves. Some children may chatter about it, while others might refuse to talk, pretend it’s not happening, or try to ignore it altogether. You might notice fidgeting, repeated questions, or quiet worrying about the first day. Even older children can feel that knot-in-the-stomach sensation, wondering how lessons will go or if they’ll make friends.
This article is part of my six-week series on supporting children and young people through times of transition. So far, we’ve explored:
-> Not All Change Feels Exciting – Supporting Children & Young People Through Transition
-> Supporting Transitions: Week 1 – Helping Children Process Their Feelings
This week, the focus is on helping children feel calmer and prepared – not by trying to control everything, but by practising two techniques that really make a difference: reframing worries and focusing on things they can control.
First technique – Reframing Worries
Children often carry worries about situations they can’t fully predict. Rather than telling them “don’t worry,” it helps to guide them to notice the worry and turn it into a small, manageable action.
For Younger Children: “I’m nervous about making friends” could become: “I can smile at one friend I know or say hello to someone new at playtime.”
For Older Children/Teens: “I’m worried I won’t understand the work” could become: “I can read through my notes tonight and prepare one question to ask tomorrow.”
The process is simple:
1. Notice the worry.
2. Ask: “What part of this can I actually do something about?”
3. Pick one small action and practise it.
This helps children feel less overwhelmed and gives them a clear step to tackle their nerves. Importantly, this skill can be used beyond school — worries about home, friendships, or other activities can be reframed in the same way. For example, “I’m worried my friend is upset with me” → “I can ask how they are or say sorry if I need to.”
Second technique – Focusing on Things They Can Control
Another helpful technique is to guide the young person into focussing on what they can influence. This isn’t about perfection, just noticing where they can take simple actions that make the day feel easier.
For Younger Children: preparing their bag, choosing their clothes, laying out lunch or school kit.
For Older Children/Teens: organising their materials, checking their timetable, or planning one small step to manage the day, such as reviewing notes or setting a personal goal.
It can help to show or guide them through the step the first time, so they feel confident and understand what to do, then let them try it themselves. This approach makes practising these skills practical and realistic without being patronising.
Practising Before Term Starts
Encourage children to try these techniques in the days before school begins. For reframing worries, notice one worry each day – about school, home, or friendships – and choose a small action they can take.
For focusing on things they can control, each day they can take one practical step – packing their bag, laying out clothes, reviewing notes, or setting a personal goal for the day. The emphasis is on small, achievable actions that give children a sense of calm and readiness.
Simple, everyday practice helps children feel ready. Doing one small thing each day — whether it’s checking their timetable, tidying their room, or practising a short conversation with a friend – gives them a sense of calm and confidence that carries over into school, home life, and other situations.
Next week (Friday 29 August), we’ll explore Grounding and Visualisation Techniques to Calm First-Day Nerves – practical tools children can use if anxiety pops up on the day.
I’d love to hear your thoughts — what has helped your child feel ready and calmer before a new school year? Please share your tips in the comments so others can benefit too.
